What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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