hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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