what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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