I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
