i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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