At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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