omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
