Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
