You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
