That's intense
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
