How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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