It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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