Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
