I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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