omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
