I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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