just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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