so that wasnt chicken after all
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
