I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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