I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
