apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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