So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
