she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
