seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize