Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i now understand why vodka
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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