Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
