She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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