Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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