Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
