I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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