Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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