Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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