Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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