i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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