tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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