i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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