I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
