at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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