You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
