the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
