cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
