shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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