I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
