If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
