it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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