He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize