I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
