so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
