this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
