I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
