So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize