The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
