im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
