where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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