Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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