How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
is it fun? or sober?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
