So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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