no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
